On to the recap:
A band of villagers sought glory and gold in a mysterious portal. Twelve wide eyed peasants entered the dungeon, and five returned their sacks filled with treasure and eyes gleaming with the insatiable hunger for adventure! This is their tale (so far)...
The party found the first door flanked by four spearmen statues. LeeRoy recklessly rushed toward the door. As he did so one of the statues threw a spear at him. LeeRoy found his luck ran out when he took a spear to the knee and fell in blood and agony. The party subsequently activated the rest of the spearmen without any further deaths. Callie the Confidence Artist and George the Cutpurse argued over LeeRoy's stuff while the rest of the party recovered spears and armor from the statues.
In the next room they were confronted by a stern looking 30' statue of a barbarian king pointing directly at them. When Ainsley the Hunter attempted to exit the room through the left door the barbarian statue swung around and fired a scorching ray from its finger which consumed her flesh on the spot. As the barbarian statue began firing shots in all directions the party split in three directions. Only Glurmen the Halfling with his short legs didn't outrun the scorching rays and met his end in flame.
The group that fled through the left door over Ainsley's torched corpse, cautiously went down the hallway only to be met by giant horned snake introducing itself as Ssissuraaaaggg. They quickly fled as Ssissuraaaggg quickly snapped at them from behind. They quickly ran back to the statue room and closed the door behind them. Luckily the statue stopped firing and they met back up with their companions who were hiding directly beneath the statue. The party which fled right found themselves in an ancient tomb with animated skeletons so ancient that they couldn't even formulate properly much to the chagrin of Jerome. George the potato farmer tried to recover some of the bones for his dog back home but found them too brittle (he pulverized them). Unimpressed after smashing two of the seven skeletons they left the room to meet back up with the rest of the party.
Upon the reunion of the entire mob of peasants, Hank the cooper rallied everyone to confront the immortal demon snake himself. Callie took a spear from the hesitant Evan and dropped her dagger behind her, which Evan sheepishly picked up. Hank used is barrel to bait Ssissuraaaaggg our from the throne and then he and Callie rushed him swinging crowbars and spears wildly. Seeking to make up for his embarrassment earlier, Evan attacked with words and blade. George the Potato Farmer, despite his dull wits and concerning obsession with Callie, tipped the balance of battle and impaled the demon snake on his pitchfork. With a final hiss, Ssissuraaaaggg turned to ash and only left his demon horn behind. George the potato farmer happily snatched up the horn as a bone for his dog.
The party entered a large room with a large shallow pool full of gems. George the Potato farmer happily splashed around in it while a couple other characters pried some gems from the bottom of the pool until they got bored and decided to descend the staircase at the end of the room. At the bottom of the staircase they found a war strategy room full of tiny clay soldiers. George the Potato Farmer gladly filled his pockets to the brim with these "toys". Upon exiting this room they found themselves face to face with an army of dozens of full size clay soldiers standing a large pit. Above the soldiers and in the back of the room was a clay statue on a throne looking like the gigantic barbarian statue from earlier, surrounded by seven clay generals, two of which had collapsed.
Suddenly the barbarian king arose and the entire army began to march forward! Scoops immediately recognized that there had been seven skeletons in one of the rooms, two of which they had destroyed and that there had been two statues in ruins. He suggested as they party fled to return to the room and destroy the remaining skeletons. Half the party did so while the other half held of the army by diving in the middle of the pool upstairs. As the clay warriors caught up they jumped into the pool to attack and began to melt in the water but not before doing some damage with their spears! On the other front, the party began crushing the ancient animated skulls. Sadly George the Cutpurse stabbed himself in the eye in shock after being bitten by a skull on the toe.
Once all the skulls were crushed the clay army went into disarray, allowing the party to run back down and make a rush to the clay barbarian king statue. About half way across the room the clay warriors came to their senses and cut off half the party while the rest continued their rush to the now lonely barbarian king. Both Jerome and Hank were skewered alive by flanking clay warriors. Evan finding his courage, ran forward with Callie and George the Potato Farmer. In a fierce battle, Evan took a spear to the face and Callie was wounded, but in the end Callie tore off the enemy's leg and it crumbled to the ground. Once the barbarian king fell the entire army stopped fighting and became nothing more than mundane clay statues. The remaining party members, Callie, Scoops, George the Dwarven Blacksmith, George the Merchant, and George the Potato Farmer then found a treasure vault with a crystal ball, scepter and other assorted treasure. With the gleam of gold in their eyes and the yearning for further adventure in their hearts, the party takes what they've learned to become professional adventurers from here on out.
Final thoughts: I had a great time playing RPGs as usual. I'm excited to play this game and I was pleased with the included 0-level funnel module The Portal Under the Stars as it started the action quickly had a variety of encounters including combat, traps and puzzles as well as multiple ways to tackle the dungeon. As per normal in my regular group, roleplaying was amusing and laughter was frequent. I would like to switch off between our D&D campaign and Dungeon Crawl Classics as they both offer something a little bit different. Maybe every other adventure or something. Adding in class powers and spells will make DCC more in depth as well. Plan on D&D 5E next recap!
Highlights:
Scoops the Trapper's gravelly voice provided much cautious and timely advice which helped (some) survive.
George the Dwarven Blacksmith still couldn't figure out why everyone from the village talks so funny
George the Merchant's carefully calculated decisions that helped him become a successful trader have now led him to items and experience that will assist him in becoming a fine magician
George the Potato Farmer slew the great immortal demon snake guardian Ssisssuraaaaggg with naught but his pitchfork despite his dull wit and concerned obsession with Callie
Callie, though judgmental and condescending , like a brave spear maiden. In the final moment, when all was almost lost against the great clay army, and with a huge goose egg on the back of her head from Jerome's poor aim, she slew the likeness of the war wizard himself.
In memory of those who have fallen:
George the Cutpurse failing to undo a dilapidated pile of animated bones, was himself undone when the undead skull bit his toe and in shock he accidentally stabbed himself in the eye, and cried out in his signature cockney accent for the last time.
Evan the Elven Barrister perished by the earthen spear of a clay warrior shortly after discovering his courage
Ainsley the Hunter was consumed by the scorching ray of a vigilant 30' ancient barbarian lord statue when trying to exit the room
LeeRoy recklessly gambled his life in a valient charge but found that his luck had run out when he took a spear to the knee
Glurmen the Halfling Vagrant would have been better off with longer legs than armor when his friends outran both him and the deadly scorching ray that was his end
Hank the Cooper only wished he could have held his finest barrel one last time as he met his death on the end of a spear
Jerome the Confidence Artist's fast talking did him no good when he was flanked and skewered by animated clay spearmen
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